Monthly Archives: February 2012

Feb 20
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Emotional Intelligence: do you need bucket loads of it?

By | Career, Leadership, Managing Strengths | 2 Comments

I’m focusing this time on the concept of emotional intelligence (EI). Is it mumbo jumbo or a secret weapon you can tap into? Read on to find out!

  • EI – what is it?
  • How can EI help you?
Emotional intelligence: What is it? How can it help you?

My definition is simple; EI is being intelligent about your emotions. It’s making the best of yourself using a high degree of self awareness. It is about getting the best out of others too. It works by combining the head i.e. thinking and logic on the left side of the brain (if you are right handed) and creativity on the right hand side and the heart: the emotions and feelings. This concept is based on the work of Daniel Goleman. He wrote 2 international best sellers:

  • “Emotional Intelligence”
  • “Working with Emotional intelligence”

His definition says that “EI is about being smart, how we handle ourselves and our relationships”. Essentially he talks about how this matters more than IQ and educational success.

How about we bring EI alive? Let’s think about this together. Imagine a very bright person, very intelligent, who has passed lots of exams. Now add in their interpersonal skills, how they get on with other people…say in this case poorly. In Goleman’s terms they are best suited to back room jobs where they can be great thinkers and analysts. However, most jobs require some people contact and relationship building. So imagine the combination of someone who is bright and good at relationships…they will find it much easier to find work, will be good in a team, able to lead a team etc. All round they are more likely to be successful in the organisation as they don’t need to work in isolation! Goleman says the EI competencies (which we will come onto in more depth) are not innate talents, but learned abilities.

So how does this apply to all of us? To be more successful we can all work on our EI; to get the best out of ourselves and others, to adapt to situations we are in and the people we are with.

As Charles Darwin wrote:  “It is not the strongest of the species who survive, nor the most intelligent, but those who are the most adaptive to change.”

So, if you need to make sure that you can adapt, please get in touch.

Feb 13
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Gender difference, part 2

By | Leadership, Managing Strengths, Productivity | No Comments
gender differencesTips for the workplace:

In a previous post, I looked at gender differences you should know about. This time, it’s tips about how to deal with those differences in the workplace:

  • Take notice of those non-verbal signals by tapping into women’s intuition, i.e., the ability to notice small details and changes in the appearance or behaviour of others. By using this ability you can detect subtle mood and attitude changes in your team, colleagues and peers. At a meeting ask some of the females to summarise the feelings and emotions that are occurring, a very emotionally intelligent thing to do.
  • Female and attending an interview for a management position? Wear a more masculine style of outfit. You have a better chance of being selected than if you dress in a more feminine outfit. Even if the interviewer is female!
  • Male characteristics and values are largely responsible for driving people to the top of the organisation but feminine values are becoming the way to stay there, encouraging team work, interdependence and collaboration.
  • Men have logical, problem-solving minds and often feel that there is no need to share their own problems with others. So with small problems males are best left alone to work them through. With big problems this inability to effectively problem solve and talk at the same time can lead to stress. Encourage male colleagues to talk about what is going on and see that it is a real strength to ask for help and not battle on their own. Interestingly women are happy to share their problems but don’t necessarily want advice but just to be listened to. So give female colleagues a listening ear.
  • Closing business deals with direct, short, solution-focused sentences is where males thrive. Such direct speech can seem rude and abrupt in social settings. Using indirect speech or concentrating on building rapport is generally a natural female style. The ideal in business is maybe a duo of male and female, each complementing the other.
  • To encourage male listening, give him an agenda and advance notice. This appeals to his logical side and makes him feel appreciated in terms of why you are meeting and his contribution to the agenda and solving the issue.
  • If you are in the position of selecting a team or project group, a mix of males and females is best. This manages the competition amongst the men in terms of status and hierarchy, and maximises the harmony with the females. The blend of problem solvers and relationship builders can support and help each other to create a better end result.

Our genetics may determine our physiology but do remember that our up-bringing and any training and development will enable us to change, adapt and improve! Bear in mind too that our personality differences such as introversion and extraversion, can also emphasise and/or compensate gender differences. By acknowledging our differences we can embrace them!  

Feb 06
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Gender difference: what do you need to know?

By | Leadership, Managing Strengths, Productivity | One Comment

Grab yourself a drink and take a minute or two to read this and see if any of it makes you smile! In this post I focus on the differences between male and female brains and next time I’ll look at how to make the most of this knowledge at work.

Do I really need to know about gender differences in the human brain?

So let’s get the biology lesson over with! Males and females are different; not better or worse, but different. Same species different worlds!  We evolved differently because men hunted and protected whilst women gathered and nurtured. Over millions of years brain structures continued to change. We think differently and process information differently. Our perceptions, priorities and behaviours are also different. How does this relate to you? Well if you live, work and play with the opposite sex here are some interesting facts!

9 differences you should know about:
  1. Eyes in the back of her head? Not quite but females do have better peripheral vision. Males have a type of longer tunnel vision to see well in a narrower field and so make better night time drivers!
  2. Women’s eyes display more white than men’s eyes because close range personal communication is an integral part of female bonding. Having more white on show, allows a greater range of eye signals to be sent and received.
  3. Females are more effective at lying to males face to face because male brains are less skilled at spotting incongruencies between verbal and non verbal signals.
  4. Reading between the lines is something women are said to do. This is due to their greater sensitivity in differentiating tone changes in voice volume and pitch enabling them to hear emotional changes in others. Men, however, have better directional hearing for hunting purposes.
  5. Male brains are not so well equipped to hear or see details. Females pick up the visual, vocal and body language signals such as who is talking to who and the subtleties behind this; whereas the male brain was evolved to see a zebra on the horizon and how fast it’s moving!
  6. Most males have a specific brain location for sensing direction and so find navigation and orientation easy. Men use their spatial skills here. I know I certainly prefer to drive and let my husband do the map reading!
  7. Females are attracted to therapy, counselling and teaching professions because of their strength in speech. Women have two speech centres in their brain, one on each side enabling them to be good conversationalists!  Males have one speech centre in the left part of the brain.
  8. A woman’s brain is configured for multi-tasking because of the larger number of connections between the right and left side of the brain. Males literally have a more compartmentalised brain and prefer to focus on one thing at a time.
  9. At the end of a day full of problems, a male brain can file and store them all away. This ability to store and separate information comes from the compartmentalised male brain. Females, however, have less function to store and so the problems go round and round in her head. Hence the need to talk about them and acknowledge them!

So with all these differences what can you do to maximise your natural strengths and those of the people you work with?

Get in touch with The Smart Coaching Company!